The New Rules of Attachment
A revolutionary approach to attachment theory that teaches readers how to heal their inner child to change their anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment style in relationships, friendships, at work, and home—perfect for readers of How to Do the Work, Polysecure, and Amir Levine’s Attached.
Did you know that attachment style impacts more than romantic relationships? As it turns out, most of us are thinking about Attachment Theory all wrong, and triple board-certified clinical and forensic neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho is here to set the record straight.
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The New Rules of Attachment
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Stop Self-Sabotage
Have you ever had a deadline for a big work project, only to find yourself down to the wire because you spent too much time on social media? Or gotten excited about meeting someone new, only to convince yourself he isn’t really interested? How many Januarys have you resolved that this is the year you’re finally going to lose the weight, only to abandon your diet in just a few weeks? If these scenarios sound familiar, you are stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage.
At one point or another, we’ve all done something that undermines our best interests and intentions. Even the most successful people get in their own way—often without realizing it. In Stop Self-Sabotage, licensed clinical psychologist, tenured professor, and television personality Dr. Judy Ho takes a fresh look at self-sabotage to help us answer two vital questions: Why do we do it? How do we stop?
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Stop Self-sabotage






Follow Along.
No matter how much work you do on your attachment style, there will always be circumstances that are likely to trigger the working models and self-beliefs of your insecure attachment style. The better you know your triggers, the better prepared you will be to notice when your attachment style is kicking up unhelpful or painful thoughts and emotions, or directing you toward actions that don’t serve you well.
A few days ago, I shared some of the ways in which the negative self-beliefs caused by your negative self-concept and insecure attachment style can hinder your success in setting and achieving your goals.
The way you talk to yourself can have a big impact on how you feel, which will inevitably have some impact on your goal pursuits. To help reframe negative self-talk into realistic but encouraging statements, use the "Yes... but..." formula:
Acknowledge something that isn't going so well right now, and then acknowledge something that is going well or something that you are in the process of doing to improve your circumstances. For example, "Yes, I made a mistake at work yesterday and it caused my boss to be upset, but I am going to address what happened and rework the project, and ask my boss about any other ways I can improve on my work.''
For a more detailed explanation of the "Yes, But" formula, watch the video and follow along! Use this formula to reframe the way you talk to yourself and slowly chip away at those negative self-beliefs, and you'll be one step closer to successfully achieving your goals.
#AttachmentStyle #SelfBeliefs #NegativeSelfTalk #GoalAchievement #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalWellness #SelfAwareness #PositiveThinking #MindsetShift #ReframeYourMindset #SelfDevelopment #InnerDialogue #MentalHealth #SuccessMindset #GoalSetting #OvercomingObstacles #PositiveAffirmations #SelfCare #SelfReflection #YesButFormula #Psychology #TherapyTips ... See MoreSee Less
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@ drjudyho . Feb 18
In the studio, transforming ink on pages into sound waves. 🎧✨
#sundayvibes #sundayfunday #sundaymood #weekend #weekendvibes #photooftheday #sundaymornings #goodvibes #picoftheday #happysunday #positivevibes #motivation #author #writer #authorsofinstagram #bookstagram #books #writersofinstagram #writing #writingcommunity #attachment #writerscommunity #authorlife #audiobook #speaker
In the studio, transforming ink on pages into sound waves. 🎧✨
#sundayvibes #sundayfunday #sundaymood #weekend #weekendvibes #photooftheday #sundaymornings #goodvibes #picoftheday #happysunday #positivevibes #motivation #author #writer #authorsofinstagram #bookstagram #books #writersofinstagram #writing #writingcommunity #attachment #writerscommunity #authorlife #audiobook #speaker ...
Do you know what your love languages are? They could have a lot to do with your attachment style! Understanding how your attachment style impacts romantic relationships can then help illiuminate what you need from your partner and how you operate romantically.